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With my internet gone, and no other pirating opportunities in sight, each evening opened up limitless possibilities of boredom.

One night, after watching a marathon of America's Next Top Model and contemplating the meal options for the few dessicated husks of vegetables remaining in the fridge, a strong, sudden urge to do a *jigsaw puzzle* descended upon me.

I called my manager on the walkie talkie to tell him about the fire.

He came out with a bucket of water, realized this was not a small fire that could be tackled with a small bucket of water, set it on the ground, turned around and went back into his office.

Then the lights changed, but I could hardly see to drive - straining through the tears of laughter. When I was back on dry land, it was my pinky toes and groin that had the greatest workout. I went back to my hotel room doing the Tim Conway Old Man Shuffle. I have this weird medical condition where if I don't get some excellent shellfish in me every now and then, I want to punch a nun. Now, one evening my sister came upstairs and said to me, we're going food shopping right now. I said I'd be right there but I had to go to the bathroom. Of course she told her husband I had the nerve to want to go to the bathroom but she made me hurry up. " For some reason my brother in law said, "Oh, no you don't! To this day, twenty years later, we still call taking a shit "cooking a sweet potato".

I was on the first beach vacation of the summer, Memorial Day weekend. It was two blocks, uphill, and it took me about half an hour. Well, we were driving along to a store in Nassau County because the stores in Queens were all gross when I remembered :smack: I had something in the oven. Not in my car." My sister and I looked at him with mystification (is that a word? In 1999 I was a concessionist at the local dollar theater in a suburb of Dallas.

A rider on an ordinary bicycle went alongside the cars and joined the trike at the front of the queue. The place was loud and rambunctious and chaotic, but I didn't have the strength to go anywhere else. Shortly thereafter, a basket of steaming hot dinner rolls arrived.

Last modified 12-Dec-2017 11:30